Life with Jen #39
For those who are new to the blog… we have a series on the blog, called “Letter to Emily,” where I periodically write/publish letters I have written for Emily to read now and in the future. The very first one I wrote, I wasn’t planning on publishing it, but Emily thought our readers might be interested in reading them, so that’s when we started the “Letters to Emily” series here on LOH. There isn’t a set amount or frequency. I write each letter as I get the inspiration to because these letters truly come from my heart and they aren’t something that can be forced. I hope you enjoy. You can see more here.
In life you will run across ALL kinds of people. It is very important for your own happiness that you understand how to react to each type of person. A mindful and heart-based reaction will allow you to remain balanced and to continue your growth. Peace within is what you are after…..don’t let anyone steal that from you. I learned a very meaningful way to approach this in Yoga Teacher Training this past weekend and I want to pass it along to you.
People can be broken down into 4 groups or types:
- Happy or Joyful
- Unhappy or Suffering
- Virtuous or Benevolent
- Bad or Destructive
Emotional Intelligence is very important in your success in life. It is also important to your happiness. Having a strong emotional intelligence signifies that you can deal with all kinds of people in a loving or compassionate way. It’s hard – trust me. There will be times when you will be really tested.
Here is how to meet each group:
- Happy and Joyful People -
This is the easy one right? Who doesn’t like a happy person? I know this one sounds easy but there needs to be conscious awareness even with the easy ones. You need to be mindful to cultivate friendliness and kindness towards this group. Think about if you are having a bad day and someone comes up to you who is really happy….how do you react? It’s not abnormal to unintentionally not meet them with friendliness and kindness. Being mindful that this negative feeling could occur will help you remember to act positively towards them – which will in turn only create inner peace and calmness in yourself.
- Unhappy or Suffering People -
When you come in contact with people that are suffering or are unhappy, meet those souls with compassion and support. You are naturally a very compassionate, loving person. However, think of a time when you have been really excited about doing something and the person you are supposed to go with gets sick or something happens within their family that prevents them from going to this really cool event that you were so excited about. It is easy to think of yourself first – think about what you will now be missing out on. You need to be conscious of this and make a choice to act out of love and compassion. This will bring you freedom and peace of mind. Your act of compassion will allow you to relate to and understand others on a deeper level. Take every experience you can to grow your level of compassion – it’s one of the most important virtues in life.
- Virtuous or Benevolent People -
It’s very easy to let yourself go to a place of feeling inadequate, incompetent or jealous (the worst one). Watching someone else get something that you really want can be very painful….remember the dance team in 5th grade when you were the only one that didn’t make it . We all want to be good at things however, there will ALWAYS be somebody that can do things better. The best thing you can do for yourself is to cultivate happiness and goodwill for this person. When you do this you may find that you will become better yourself…..in fact, I am pretty sure you will. Be careful not to push these kind of people away – you can learn something from them that will only better yourself. This is one that will always take mindfulness and work but it will get easier over time.
- Bad or Destructive People -
We ALL have these people come into our life. You and I have already spent time talking about what to do with certain friends etc that fit into this category. It’s a hard one. It’s very difficult not to feel anger towards this type of person. We have talked about how if you just continue to be nice to them they will eventually stop their behavior or if you call them out on it and tell them how you feel they will stop. After more thought, the best thing you can do with this type of friend or person is to feel neutral towards them. That means neither negative or positive. Be indifferent to them and their presence. You don’t approve of their actions, you just remove all thought about them. The only person that you hurt by letting yourself get angry, resentful or upset is yourself. It’s best to just let them go from your thoughts. Don’t be mean…..just be neutral. Do not spend your time thinking about what they did or have said that may be hurtful or wrong – that is wasting your time – and time means too much to waste.
Also with this group or type or person they do not always come in the form that the picture of the dog represents. Here is where your emotional intelligence comes into play – understanding when something just isn’t good for you and is holding you back from being happy or growing.
Remember with this type of person to……………
Love you from the center of my heart and soul……
Mom….aka…… Jen, January Joy, Jenny Kaye <3